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SHAPPY'S ONLINE DIARY:
Thursday, June 04, 2009
THE RETURN OF THE TROUBADOURS
by Matthew Woolsey, Forbes Magazine
Make a living reciting poetry? Homer did it.
It's closer to vaudeville than to epic Greek. But Derrick Brown and his traveling carnival of poets, the Elephant Engine High Dive Revival, are packing houses with their performances--at a Long Beach, Calif. bookstore, an opera house in Traverse City, Mich., a cafe in Manhattan, a hall at the Sorbonne in Paris. Often dressed like the ringleader of a Depression-era circus, with shabby, wide-lapelled, long-tailed coats, or donning the urban poet's standard uniform of a blazer, a fedora, jeans and black Converse sneakers, Brown carries himself with a cool, deadpan insouciance onstage, making jokes and encouraging the audience's loud response. He and his troupe--poets, actors and singers from around the country--create impromptu verse on dry-erase whiteboards or read aloud poems, serious and not, sometimes to guitar accompaniment.
Poetry has always been a tough racket in which to make a buck, Shakespeare and Bob Dylan being among the few success stories. Yet Brown has done pretty well. Elephant Engine has booked 42 engagements for its September to November tour, which will take it from Anchorage to New York City. Brown, 36, was a paratrooper for the 82nd Airborne, a gondolier and a television weatherman before becoming a full-time poet 12 years ago. His latest idea: the Poetry Olympics, a contest between groups of versifiers. "There will be judges scoring their poems, while poets have to complete things like onstage obstacle courses," says Brown. "It'll be chaos."
The notion of such a metrics fest, as well as performance groups like Brown's, is a knock on so-called slam poetry. Emerging from Chicago in the mid-1980s and brought mainstream in 2002 with Def Poetry Jam (a Broadway show and hbo series of the same name), slam draws individuals from all walks--published poets, investment bankers, police officers--who recite their works and subject themselves to numeric scoring by judges and members of the audience. Now an international phenomenon, slam has plenty of detractors aside from Brown: Yale's high priest of culture, Harold Bloom, once called it "rant and nonsense."
How does Brown's performance poetry differ from slam poetry? For one thing it's often more lucrative. The top prize for the latest Individual World Poetry Slam, a three-day melee among 78 poets held last December in Charlotte, N.C., was $1,000. Browne's troupe gets $4,000 a night. For another, acts like Elephant Engine, the SpillJoy Ensemble and Salt Lines rely less on pitting individuals against one another in verbal combat than on getting individual poets to cooperate in groups. Brown, for example, has corralled former National Poetry Slam champions Michael (Mighty Mike) McGee, 33, Jeffrey (Shappy) Seasholtz, 40, and Buddy Wakefield, 35, to perform with him. To stretch a historical contrast, consider two very different strains of poetic presentation 800 or so years ago. An Old Norse skald (yes, "scold" as well as "poet") might as easily trade formal insults with a fellow poet as recite lines about heroic battles; that's medieval slam poetry for you. By
contrast, French troubadours might band together with performers (jongleurs) to give lyric performances, backed by a rich patron, about knights' adventures, courtly love and bawdy bedroom antics.
The kinder, gentler approach has drawn folks like John S. Hall, 40, a mergers-and-acquisitions analyst for Sullivan & Cromwell in New York City. A recent father and a lifelong poet, he performs maybe once a month these days. He, too, is a refugee from slam, which he calls "a very macho approach to poetry." He likens non-cutthroat productions to musicians putting out albums with varied offerings--some popular, some not--instead of singles that aim for the top of the charts. Wakefield, a onetime mortgage broker who now performs with Brown, has thrown over slam, too (he's a former world champ). "As with any art, 80% of it is terrible," he notes. "In poetry that climbs to 95% because it's overly self-confessional."
Some poets with normal day jobs find it more lucrative to perform than to publish. Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz, 30, licenses work for clients of the Artists Rights Society, which monitors the intellectual copyright and permission interests of 50,000-plus artists and their estates, including Picasso, Matisse, Pollock and Warhol. "Stage poetry is a lot easier to monetize than page poetry," says Aptowicz, founder of the Urbana Poetry Series on Manhattan's Lower East Side. "You have to sell a lot of books at readings to get the $700 you'll get from splitting a performance fee."
If anything, the popularity of written verse seems to be on a downward spiral. Last year 3,716 titles, ranging from collections to individual poems, were published. That's down 25% from the previous year, reports R.R. Bowker, a New Providence, N.J. company that tracks and offers data on the publishing industry. Brown also runs a small publishing house, Write Bloody Publishing, that aims to put out 16 titles this year. Maybe he can sell books at the theater, along with T-shirts.
When it comes to performance poetry, what works onstage doesn't always translate well onto the page. Sometimes it's like stripping away lyrics from music: Try reciting the words to "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" or "I Want Hold Your Hand" without the melody. Even a successful performance poet like Taylor Mali has a tough time selling books. A four-time National Poetry Slam champ, Mali, 44, tours on his own now and collects $3,500 a night delivering such acts as "What Teachers Make." But his delivery relies heavily on emotion, rhythm, gestures and physical presence.
For those who still find that poetry, both oral and written, embodies everything important about civilization, there's something both uplifting and unremittingly sad about the mini-revival. "We've proved that performance poetry has value," muses Victor D. Infante, 37, editor of November 3rd Club, a poetry quarterly. "Now the challenge is to just be poets."
posted by Shappy at 1:42 PM
Friday, May 08, 2009
It's the event we have been waiting for all year...
J.J. Abrams presents. . .STAR TREK!!!
Just kidding! (not really! although it's totes awesome!)
This Saturday... May 9th...
It's the NYC-URBANA POETRY SLAM FINALS!!
And just HOW awesome will it be?
First off, in honor of the big night, we will have a special showcase of some of NYC's most incredible poets including: Rives, Taylor Mali, Eboni Hogan, Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz and a few top secret poets / performers we ain't even allowed to advertise for because it might blow your mind!!
THEN we have the FINALS! The Battle of All Poetic Battles, featuring the BEST of the NYC-Urbana Scene who all are volleying for the precious FOUR team slots on Urbana's THREE-TIME National Championship Team. We'll be sending these four poets to West Palm Beach, Florida all expenses paid. Ah, Florida in August! It'll be a HOT time in the old town tonight!
Those competing poets are:
* Akua Doku!!
* Adam Faulkner!!
* Ion!!
* Jared Singer!!
* Jeanann Verlee!!
* Joanna Hoffman!!
* Jon Sands!!
* Nicole Homer!!
On top of THAT, the Urbana audience will be showered with FREE swag from awesome local Urbana supporters, including SCRABBLE, the STRAND BOOKSTORE and BUST Magazine, among others!
We will also be launching a new beer from MAGIC HAT which will be offered a LOW, LOW PRICE!!!
AND AND AND NYC-Urbana's latest and most awesomest CD -- "Excellence in the Field of Awesomeness: Best of NYC-Urbana 2007-2008" -- will be available for sale, along with our brand-spanking new, copyright-infringin g TEE-SHIRTS proclaiming you to be "Urbana Poetry Slam ALL-STAR!" YEE-HA!
I mean, could this night GET any better?!
Sure it could. Because guess what? I, SHAPPY SEASHOLTZ, will hosting the showcase, and with my lady-fair, NYC Slam Historian CRISTIN O'KEEFE APTOWICZ hosting the SLAM! Feel the power of SHAPTOWICZ!!
Alright, so the plan is SHOW UP EARLY to get good seats and prepare yourself for what is GUARANTEED to INCREDIBLE night of poetry.
Here's the skinny:
This Saturday, May 9th
URBANA POETRY GRAND SLAM FINALS!
Bowery Poetry Club
308 Bowery (btwn Houston and Bleeker)
8:00 Doors open
8:15 Show begins
$10 COVER
www.bowerypoetry. com
Or RVSP on FACEBOOK:
http://www.facebook .com/event. php?eid=76832648 239
See ya there and THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT THIS SEASON!
yours in the glowing light of SLAM,
SHAPPY
NYC-Urbana Co-Slammaster
URBANA CALENDAR 2009
------ (WEEKLY URBANA EVENTS BEGIN AGAIN WITH ...)
----
7/7/2008 WELCOME TO SUMMER SLAM
What will this slam be? Could be a NERD SLAM? Could be a MULTIMEDIA SLAM? We'll keep you in the loop, slam-lovers! Proceeds go towards sending the Team to Nationals!!
7/14/2008 East Coast Invitational
Come see NYC-Urbana battles against other regional Teams! Proceeds go towards sending the Team to Nationals!!
7/21/2008 New York City Regional Slam at Urbana
The Third and Final NYC Slam BATTLE NIGHT. Come see which venue is crowned VICTORIOUS! Proceeds go towards sending the Team to Nationals!!
7/28/2008 Group Piece/Urbana Auction
Our last Urbana show before the Team heads off to Madison! See their group pieces! Buy one-kind art works and deals with -- you guessed it!! All Proceeds go towards sending the Team to Nationals!!
posted by Shappy at 2:13 PM
Saturday, May 02, 2009
posted by Shappy at 3:59 AM
Monday, March 30, 2009 I'll be at Hampshire College tomorrow night in Amherst, MA and at the Cantab Lounge for the Boston Poetry Slam on Wednesday night in Cambridge, MA! Come see me! posted by Shappy at 10:05 PM
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Cristin gets the traveling pants!
posted by Shappy at 3:04 AM
www.bordersmedia.com/odp/seasholtz.asp posted by Shappy at 3:01 AM
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Here's me and the director of FANBOYS, Kyle Newman!
posted by Shappy at 6:37 PM
Tuesday, January 20, 2009 ALL HAIL OUR FIRST NERD PRESIDENT!!! posted by Shappy at 2:59 PM
Monday, December 22, 2008
Oh, and as it turns out, I'm an award-winning muse!
http://haydensferryreview.blogspot.com/2008/12/holiday-blog-contestpoetry.html
CONGRATS, SNOO!
posted by Shappy at 9:55 PM
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Read poetry at the NYC Comic Con and at St. John's Cathedral. Coached a slam team to a first
place victory. Set up my own computer. Re-enacted Monty Python & The Holy Grail at GenCon. Ate a teddywedger.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made any.
3. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
Kissing my gal.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thankfully.
5. What countries did you visit?
Madison, WI
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A better work ethic in terms of writing.
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Election night. I was surrounded by poets, comics and freaks and it was like New Year's Eve.
8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
8 years with my lady, putting money way for the future, 6 years athe Bowery Poetry Club, appearing in Playboy and Wired Magazine for FANBOYS.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not getting our team to Semi's. Not getting a new chapbook together.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just a few gout flare-ups.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
New computer. Batphone.
12. Where did most of your money go?
Rent, food and comics.
13. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Single Ladies by Beyonce. It's so stupid and I can't get it out of my head! I oughta put a ring on it!
14. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Writing.
15. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sleeping.
16. What was your favourite TV program?
The Office, Venture Brothers, Mad Men, Heroes, Flight of the Conchords.
17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Sarah Palin.
18. What was the best book you read?
Words In Your Face, An Anthology of Graphic Fiction, Cartoons & True Stories Vol.2. More Information Than You Require, Get Up.
19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Vampire Weekend, it's the only new band I listened to this year.
20. What was your favourite film of this year?
Wall-E
21. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Went out for Greek food, 39.
22. What kept you sane?
Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz
23. Who did you miss?
My family who I don't get to see enough.
24. Who was the best new person you met?
Pony Goldenballs
25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Napping is under-rated
posted by Shappy at 11:58 AM
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Funky Clown Town
by Andrew Berger.
Unauthorized transcription by Charles Ekabhumi Ellik
I walked down
to the Funky Clown Town.
I socked the clown
and made him frown.
I made him hurt.
I made him cry.
I socked him again,
yeah, right in his eye.
Now, most people think clowns are fun, yeah.
Well, Im really glad I brought my gun!
I screamed, Hey, ya stewpid-ass clown!
Then I shot that mutha-fucka down!
See, it was a car-jacking,
so I took his ride.
Me and my clown-killing posse,
we hopped inside.
We rolled through that crazy clown town.
Killin lies, pullin my piece,
capped off a few clowns.
Clowns fell, and fell, by the score.
Killin clowns is fun, yall,
its really not a chore.
Now, you may wonder
from where this hatred comes.
Well, its those crazy clowns,
man theyre the ones.
See, I used to think clowns were nice,
till I seen the movie Poltergeist.
Then theres Kinko, you know,
the kid-loving clown?
You know how he likes to take the kids
and feel them up and down.
Like I said, I think killing clowns is kind of fun.
Stop! Pop! Pop! Pop!
There goes another one.
I turn around and once again
its me and my clown-killing friends,
heard them fools talkin shit,
and them clowns just dont quit!
Clowns began to run and stumble.
Check your head, boys, its time to rumble!
I ran down, socked the clown.
It hurt his eye, so I shot through his thigh.
Heard him cry, he didnt want to die.
But I didnt care.
Cuz clowns were rollin in from everywhere!
I raised my arms about chest high,
pulled my triggers and watched clowns die.
I shot em big, I shot em small.
If I could, Id shoot em all.
But I cant, cuz they keep comin,
so I turn around and start runnin.
Down an alley with a left and a right,
I could tell it was late, very late at night.
All of a sudden, face-to-face, with a miiiiiiime!
He tried to scream, but there was no time!
My gun was ready, his was not.
The next thing he knew,
hed been SHOT!
posted by Shappy at 11:13 PM
Tuesday, November 18, 2008 posted by Shappy at 1:39 PM
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
50 THINGS YOU MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN ABOUT OBAMA-
He collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics
He was known as "O'Bomber" at high school for his skill at basketball
His name means "one who is blessed" in Swahili
His favourite meal is wife Michelle's shrimp linguini
He won a Grammy in 2006 for the audio version of his memoir, Dreams From My Father
He is left-handed the sixth post-war president to be left-handed
He has read every Harry Potter book
He owns a set of red boxing gloves autographed by Muhammad Ali
He worked in a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop as a teenager and now can't stand ice cream
His favourite snacks are chocolate-peanut protein bars
He ate dog meat, snake meat, and roasted grasshopper while living in Indonesia
He can speak Spanish
While on the campaign trail he refused to watch CNN and had sports channels on instead
His favourite drink is black forest berry iced tea
He promised Michelle he would quit smoking before running for president he didn't
He kept a pet ape called Tata while in Indonesia
He can bench press an impressive 200lbs
He was known as Barry until university when he asked to be addressed by his full name
His favourite book is Moby-Dick by Herman Melville
He visited Wokingham, Berks, in 1996 for the stag party of his half-sister's fiancι, but left when a stripper arrived
His desk in his Senate office once belonged to Robert Kennedy
He and Michelle made $4.2 million (£2.7 million) last year, with much coming from sales of his books
His favourite films are Casablanca and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
He carries a tiny Madonna and child statue and a bracelet belonging to a soldier in Iraq for good luck
He applied to appear in a black pin-up calendar while at Harvard but was rejected by the all-female committee.
His favourite music includes Miles Davis, Bob Dylan, Bach and The Fugees
He took Michelle to see the Spike Lee film Do The Right Thing on their first date
He enjoys playing Scrabble and poker
He doesn't drink coffee and rarely drinks alcohol
He would have liked to have been an architect if he were not a politician
As a teenager he took drugs including marijuana and cocaine
His daughters' ambitions are to go to Yale before becoming an actress (Malia, 10) and to sing and dance (Sasha, 7)
He hates the youth trend for trousers which sag beneath the backside
He repaid his student loan only four years ago after signing his book deal
His house in Chicago has four fire places
Daughter Malia's godmother is Jesse Jackson's daughter Santita
He says his worst habit is constantly checking his BlackBerry
He uses an Apple Mac laptop
He drives a Ford Escape Hybrid, having ditched his gas-guzzling Chrysler 300
He wears $1,500 (£952) Hart Schaffner Marx suits
He owns four identical pairs of black size 11 shoes
He has his hair cut once a week by his Chicago barber, Zariff, who charges $21 (£13)
His favourite fictional television programmes are Mash and The Wire
He was given the code name "Renegade" by his Secret Service handlers
He was nicknamed "Bar" by his late grandmother
He plans to install a basketball court in the White House grounds
His favourite artist is Pablo Picasso
His speciality as a cook is chilli
He has said many of his friends in Indonesia were "street urchins"
He keeps on his desk a carving of a wooden hand holding an egg, a Kenyan symbol of the fragility of life
His late father was a senior economist for the Kenyan government
posted by Shappy at 12:34 PM
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
David Rees: What To Do When It Finally Hits You And Your Mind Explodes: A Safety Guide
If you're like most people, you're still in shock. THIS IS NOT THE SAME THING AS HAVING YOUR MIND BLOWN.
Even if you're stumbling around the office saying, "I can't believe it . . . I can't believe it . . . it blows my mind . . ." that doesn't actually mean the absolute, glorious, unfuckingbelievableness of it has caught up with you and officially blown your mind.
Neurologists expect most Americans' minds to blow sometime around 11:00 PM EST tonight (Nov. 5), approximately 24 hours after the election was called.
BE PREPARED.
Just a few simple precautions can make the difference between your mind blowing in a positive, healthy way . . . or a way that endangers you and other people.
First of all: WEAR A HELMET. You need to keep your skull from exploding. I was actually going to wrap my entire head in duct tape to keep it together -- until my wife suggested that might starve my brain of the oxygen required to actually comprehend how goddamn insanely, mind-blowingly historic this is. So I'm wearing an old bicycle helmet, on which I have written:
DANGER! IF THIS HELMET IS VIBRATING AND ITS WEARER IS SWOONING AND BABBLING, HIS MIND IS IN THE PROCESS OF BEING TOTALLY BLOWN. STAND BACK 50 FEET.
Secondly: DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS. Keep your mind hydrated. When the reality of the election result finally catches up to it, it's going to explode in a million little starbursts of Palinesque intensity. You need to make sure those starbursts aren't dry and chalky. I also recommend sticking multivitamins in your ears, to enrich any mind that blows out the sides of your head.
Third: DO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY. I realize this may further damage our economy, but I don't want to be around some forklift operator who suddenly realizes what the heck happened last night just as he's moving hundreds of pounds of boxes near where I'm standing. What if his mind gets so blown, he goes limp and starts flapping around saying, "You can't be serious, this is so mind-blowingly intense, Oh my God, America, America, America, we did it!" because at that point, who's minding the forklift?
Finally: ENJOY THE PROCESS OF YOUR MIND BEING BLOWN. This particular mind-blowing braingasm will happen only once in American history . . . and your mind gets to be a part of it. (i.e., It's going to totally blow your freaking mind.) When it finally hits you -- when it really, truly hits you -- and you feel your mind starting to explode, lay back and smile.
After all, you earned it.
posted by Shappy at 5:03 PM
Last night was like New Year's Eve! So awesome to be surrounded by friends and host a great evening of art and politics! I now know what hope feels like. God bless the USA. posted by Shappy at 5:28 AM
posted by Shappy at 5:27 AM
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
I bartended last night, so Cristin had me come home and wake her up so that we could vote first thing together. By the time I switched into my CAPTAIN AMERICA teeshirt and walked to our polling place, he line was already halfway down the block! At 6am!! I wanted to give everyone HIGH-FIVES!! YAY ASTORIA!
We still have the old lever voting machines! A little bit of a wait and two satisfying "THUNK...KA-CHUNK"s later --- both Cristin and I have VOTED!
Now it's time for me to go to SLEEP, and my lady to go to WORK!
HOORAY AMERICA!
ps - EXIT POLLS TONIGHT AT THE BPC!! SEE YA THEN!
posted by Shappy at 6:59 AM
Monday, November 03, 2008
Hey, poetry fans (and political junkies)!
First of all, thanks for making our MISSION ACCOMPLISHED SLAM a big HIT!
John S. Hall shocked and awed us all with his latest feature and the
political debate format brought out a lot of poets! THERE IS NOT A
SLAM THIS TUESDAY, however, the Bowery Poetry Club will be streaming
the election results LIVE as they come in!
What I'm saying is, I will be hosting an OPEN-MIC from 7-10 for anyone
wanting to spout off about the election process, or politics in
general, and there will be drink specials and live music ALL NIGHT LONG!
Why sit at home chewing your nails? Come out and celebrate DEMOCRACY!
Dare I say it will be an early night? I hope so!
We'll start up the SECOND QUARTER next Tuesday with ALIX OLSON! But,
until then, join us for a LANDSLIDE O' FUN!
Shappy-Ambass- O-Dore O' Hope!
Here's the skinny:
7:00 pm-Open-Mic
10:00 pm-Music, Election Results, Drink Specials-until we get the
right guy in office!
Tuesday, Nov. 4, 2008- EXIT POLLS!
Bowery Poetry Club
308 Bowery
www.bowerypoetry. com
Urbana starts up again NEXT TUESDAY-
posted by Shappy at 2:07 AM
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